I started up this blog again with intentions to post regularly. It didn't happen. I'm going to make a go of it again.

Recently I've been working full time, in a job position I started at the end of August. I'm a receptionist/cashier for a large electronics company in Winnipeg. It's a good, reliable job. I want more though, naturally. Every day, it makes me realize more and more, I want to pursue my dreams. Which is always a good thing, right?

However, at the same time, trying to do photography as well as this job is SO tough. I'm finding myself barely able to sit down at the computer on weekdays, or weekends for that matter. My editing is getting done, slowly but surely.

I haven't taken a self portrait in ages. I feel like I'm constantly changing. When I first started with photography, I mostly took self portraits, as I didn't really have contact with models, and I felt too nervous to ask anyone to pose for me. Somehow it's switched, I don't feel confident enough to pose for my own camera, and I still don't always feel all that confident enough taking someone's photo. Sometimes I wish I could just take a step outside my body, not knowing myself, and see myself how other people see me. I doubt myself all the time, it's such a downfall. I'm tired of insecurities. It cages my creativity in, too scared to express myself or explain ideas.

I just erased a paragraph of writing. I do not know why I cannot word my thoughts. Maybe another night